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My husband and I would be considered rather boring by most people. [redacted] has confided in [redacted] and [redacted] about Jamins abusive behavior. This 3. I remember being mortified our wedding night and wanted to find something sexy that would make me feel good (and I thought he would like, too). What is Christian domestic discipline But he never swore, or acted out of control. I think there were many times two which I was so disobedient that my parents would have not known what to do unless they had given me a spanking and set me straight. Well, even if it should turn out that punishment is proportional to the evil committed, and must eventually end for all, I am convinced that you will ultimately be satisfied with the consequences your abusers must surely suffer. a forensic psychologist who evaluates and treats sexual psychopaths and is the author of a book on abuse. My husband was referred to your website awhile ago and presented me with this lifestyle. The point is that whenever we are in a tough spot, I always emphasize that its whatever he decides and he knows that. But unlike the "Cry U.S.E." Im only part way through the rather long article, which was suggested by Lydia, but from what I have read so far, I can suggest that http://www.nacr.org/wordpress/160/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations might be worth a look see. In light of this typical new customer journey, I think its reasonable to suggest that people choosing this lifestyle put much more thinking into their relationships and are more intellectually alert than the average person going the default way. But unlike the "Cry U.S.E." I would love to know what demonization that church is. James truly believed in Our families, and some of our friends think we are nuts, me mostly, for living this way, but I can honestly say that the 10 years of our marriage I am most happy knowing that I can at any moment end up crying with a sore bottom over my husbands lap. You get all edgy. Get the joke now? What can be done to safely expose these abusers for what they really are and protect these women. Guided Wife A blog on my desire to be virtuous and submissive Pat Robertson talks about moving to Saudi Arabia, so that makes me want to tell Lauren to move to Canada. Male headship is followed all over the world. Domestic Discipline In fact, if such anger is not expressed, it must be suppressedonly to come out sidewise at some unexpected time. A Lone Voice just proves him/herself to be another dime-a-dozen abuser. I would encourage you to visit the following site, especially their blog section Im so glad you found the strength to leave your abusive marriage. In my former church, we were taught by our pastor that civil laws regarding adulthood did not apply when it came to disciplining children in our homes. I am the only one who has had the honesty actually to quote passages of scripture. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Not only do their wives accept the particular program of domestic discipline that I teach but through this particular domestic discipline program these husbands have achieved 100 percent submission from their wives. I think nobody bothered to really answer because your self-proclaimed moral superiority, and arrogant psychiatric doctor tone make you guys look close-minded and beyond hope. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, and you are unwilling to come to Me (John 5.39, 40). She will need to learn some self-control with not crying out, or bite a pillow to keep quiet. When I left he was convinced that it was because of my friend and being led astray and away from God. Id be interested in knowing if a Lone Voice is a man or a woman? A few folks are gonna paddle each other. Oh yes, statistics. I dont remember a bible verse where Jesus said I had to be (bad word) against my will. I know this is true. Comfortable, but very childish, very full coverage stuff. For this is what Christianity is about. The Bible advocates for stoning as do some Muslim countries. I found out that the Pastor spoke to her husband and so he had the pastor and his wife come over for dinner and then told her the pastor talked to him about her attitude and she was getting a spanking after dinner. Christian Domestic Discipline You may be at war with Domestic Violence, and this is an honorable fight. Rather, please accept it as simply expressing a differing point of view. And helpful. If you find a bad doctor you dont rubbish the whole of medicine. They shift shame, fault and blame to the one who has been wronged. Does he get a spanking too? are not healthy in a relationship. Its not just me that talks about your husband having authority, Julie Anne. Either they think you are into some sort of kinky lifestyle or they think you are a mindless doormat. s Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage What 100% submission means is these wives have eliminated the phrase I am not comfortable with that from their speech to their husbands. For where does it end ? I dont think he has stockholm syndrome or any other excuse, he just likes being her highnesss good little stallion. Although it is still a hot topic between parents throughout the web. _Deborah and the no available men argument_. There are no Bible passages that say that husbands have authority over wives, but one that says that wives have authority over their husbands body. A lot of people, especially women who have been sexually abused by self professing Christian men or abused by a husband, are rejecting Christianity because of your sexist, un-biblical views. In the 70s went screaming for Radio Talk Show Host to interview abused women in the church; we havent come far have we? I debated putting this in the Godly ladies' thread but decided that I would risk my reputation to be thought of as forward because this is just too good to keep from men. However, the husbands are commanded to love us.Bottom linemen would rather be respected than loved. Ben also has no problem spanking me long after I start to cry. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes. (Proverbs 26:4-5 ESV). I got spanked as a child and so did my brother and we turned out great! Ben was instructed first to not spank me over my panties, but to spank me nude, and after about 2 swats I was crying enough to get Ben to stop. You are free to live this lifestyle. (You cannot find a single Bible verse that says that never married adult women must submit to a man because there is no such concept. If you actually are a woman, how sad that you are participating in your own second-class status and actually defending it. As a society have always restricted what two consenting adults can do. States have laws limiting marriage of close relatives. Yesterdays post at ACJF, http://cryingoutforjustice.com/2015/07/03/a-typical-characteristic-of-an-abuser-he-never-stops-trying/, addresses this very phenomenon: It is not surprising that abusers are accusers. Isnt bullying between two consenting children? I agree with you also but I dont agree on what some people say about pastors Spanking other peoples wives and brothers Spanking their sisters and son spanking their mothers I mean that just Blows my mind away right there I think if its between a husband and his wife only then whatever floats their boat more power to them, Ruth, how old are you? Yet I was expected to call him sir at all times and I was often addressed as young lady or little girl, which was a constant put-down that made me feel small and powerless. You never fail to amuse. These three core values are essential: Communication, Consent, & Compassion. christian domestic discipline . And you just assume I am a man because it never enters your intolerant head that a woman could actually want to put herself under her husbands headship. Regarding Barak and Deborah: And then after that we will spend several articles looking at cultural views of domestic discipline in America before the modern age. Its not physically another person, but it is mentally and emotionally. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. That is abuse in marriage. Jennas Punishment Spanking (Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage #1) During a disagreement, Jenna storms out of the house without telling her husband where she's going. I never forget the last time I tested him. Instead, I understand that person to be trapped in a self-destructive pattern of addiction. The best part of domestic discipline is what has happened emotionally between this long-time married couple. Im about the only one here who actually quotes scripture. Thanks again! All you have to do is go along with it. Kirsten,indebtedmom.com, 2. Christian Domestic Discipline Spiritual Sounding Board It is not abuse if both people consent, maybe she should have talked to him about it and he would have stopped. I think its quite funny that you make the cultural practices of other countries an argument for how Christians should live. They then work out a document, a 30-page document describing every aspect of the relationship (the superior/inferior nature and all its practical implications, when and how spanking is to be performed, what the man can and cannot do, what the woman can and cannot do etc). Jesus said to the Pharisees, Needless to say, I have never tested my husband again. Your inability to understand your counterpart speaks volume and certainly does not honour you. (starting with Genesis 2:18 and 3:16 funny how many great verses in the Bible are 3:16, isnt it? Our church is now my original church, and my bottom is now sore when ever it is needed to be. But the Pastor wouldnt agree with her that her husband was being too strict. The professionals in DV services are trained (or should be trained!) I was moving from one bad relationship to another, so she invited me to a prayer group she went to. As believers, we arent allowed to dictate to people outside the faith how they should live their lives, or deal with their suffering. Plausible? Building an adult-adult relationship with parents is a difficult transition, but it can be done. Never, dear Julie Anne, not for one second, did I imagine you would have the remotest understanding let alone any empathy for what I was trying to express. Wifes getting spanked like being spanked. Christian Domestic Discipline (Wife Spanking If you are really interested in having an informed opinion, a good starting point would be to search getting started with domestic discipline on the internet. Im sure not everyone will agree with me, but in light of common sense and Jesus character, its what makes sense to me. Is it Fair for A Fat Christian Man to Expect His Wife to RemainFit? And please dont discount the experiences of those whove suffered under religious patrio-centrism or just plain chauvinism. Reading this comment section is like reading a handbook of how liberal thinkers (and do not assume that I am a conservative), go about turning people who think differently than them into mentally sick people. I offer personal advice and mentorship in marriage to men or women who contact me. Certain things like really bad attitude, yelling at anyone in the house, throwing a fit when mad, or being disrespectful (especially in front of others) will all add up to a bad whippin after a while. What kinds of reactions can he expect from his wife as he introduces this into his marriage and how should he respond to his wifes reactions? I would like to give a example: The husband asked the wife to wash the dishes she said tomorrow that resulted in a spanking. When women were welcomed, for the most part, into the workforce and had independent means of support, the divorce rate skyrocketed. I was too worked up to explain. This is the right relationship for people to live in my opinion. (1 Cor 7:4), the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. How come society thinks women arent bright enough to dial 911? In the case you need to discipline your wife while on a voyage, you know you can do so without attracting attention. If you are currently living (or have lived) the Christian Domestic Discipline lifestyle and you would like to share how it has helped your marriage or relationship, please email your story and mention that you wish to share your experiences with other people. So anyway, of course God gives our husband and other authority persons who have our husbands permission to punish us. And to start confessing, I am forgiving (or ever going to forgive) those who have wronged me is a step on the road to freedom. When the man takes charge and makes really good, well-thought-out (and prayed for) decisions, its pretty easy for 2. Previously I have shown Domestic Discipline to be both a Biblical concept as well as a historical practice amongst husbands for thousands of years on my Instagram page @biblicalsexandiscipline and on my blog Biblicalgenderroles.com as well as podcasts Are you insisting that your reading of these passages is the only possible correct one? WebJennas Punishment Spanking (Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage #1) During a disagreement, Jenna storms out of the house without telling her husband where she's going. No, Im sorry, you are acting heartless. Im sure youd find plenty of support in those cultures. Ive been exploring submission for some time, and the one thing that I have discovered above anything else is the fact that wifely submission brings harmony to a home. But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. BDSM is not recommended for all Christians, but safe and responsible BDSM has the potential to enhance intimacy and strengthen marriages. 50 SHADES OF GREY AND PATRIARCHY: WHAT EXACTLY DID WE EXPECT? Role playing, for starters, is spouses pretending theyre someone elseOK, isnt that adulterous in its intent? @Mark You are convinced that a woman can only be tricked into that kind of relationship, and you have decided to be quite closed minded with this regard to the extent that you think that people who think otherwise are sick. I was in such a relationship for a while. But she will heal in her own good time none of us can force that on her. The truth is, the abuse labelling has less to do with the fact itself than with your opinion on the matter and your decision to condemn it and declare it morally unacceptable. You are, by your writing, an intelligent adult. No-one ever gives a better interpretation, they just holler at me as if the one who shouts loudest must be right. My husband tells me all the time how proud he is of the woman I have become. I can also say , please sir may I go to bed without my nightgown and thats me asking to be intimate, Ben almost always says yes. I suggested you start with an interlinear to see how the Greek is worded just for starters but I keep forgetting you need phallic permission. And let me be clear what I mean by 100 percent submission. I had to compose myself and return to where everyone else was knowing that they all knew what just happened. We need to consider the importance of thecorrelation of. So the real question is, do you want to be shortsighted, or do you want to position the cause your serve in a way that will allow it to pass the test of time. I believe that the only people to spank a woman is a father, husband, mother, and maybe a disciplinarian. Not sure whether you can hear me in the doghouse (or if youre even hanging around anymore), but Id like to offer some insight as to why you might have ended up there. Was your church part of a particular denomination? Its not right. Im an adult who is in control of her own life. 1986). I never truly fought back as if I was fighting for my life. Christian Domestic Discipline - 09-23-2011, 11:08 PM. It makes complete sense that someone raised in this culture would extend it to domestic abuse. Thats too much? Is that bad now too? I was sexually terrorized as a little girl by a bible loving, bible verse quoting, church going southern Baptist Christian man as a little girl. I shall expect some racist comments. (LogOut/ I cant remember if you said how long you were married. The ones who claim they enjoy it have psychological issues, but its not due to wanting to be abused that is sick. Who cares? But I think there are probably other women in conservative or controlling Christian households where the husband thinks it is OK to spank his wife like just another child in the house. When I see how women have been treated like objects by people who demand to have an authority position over their wives, demand obedience, demand submission, presume to be an intermediary to God. Go back to the word (Luke 4:1-13) and see for yourself. The Bible says I must obey my husband in all things, our minister always repeats this in our bible study. Especially when you factor in that they are free to leave these relationships anytime. The definition Im using with the word submissive is the biblical definition of that. . And there goes the bitter card. christian domestic discipline A History of the Corporal Discipline of Women January 11, 2023 In this third and final part of my three-part series on Christian Domestic Discipline, we explore how the practice of domestic discipline continue through the middle-ages and even into America up until the mid-20th century. And I was told that since I was acting immaturely, this was the consequence. Wife Undermines Her Husbands Authority in Front of Children, He DisciplinesHer? To say that I consented to be spanked, or to say that even an adult woman consents to being spanked simply because she remains in that situation is to make a mockery of the word consent. You take the doctor to task. Classical Conversations #7: Business or a Non-Profit; Cult or a Christian HomeschoolGroup? [redacted] said she has become numb to the abuse and did not feel scared, not like in the beginning. Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline 2. What Is The Husbands Role In Christian Domestic Discipline? May we all be "wounded healers" who do no harm. Most wives cant be as obedient and submissive as God wants unless their Husbands are strict and are willing to give them spankings when they mess up. Thankfully my friend helped me move and helped me get set up and even helped me secure a job. Just as with contracts, there can be duress in various forms, be it a demotion and other forms of financial abuse, bad grades and other forms of potentially public defamation, and just the simple threat of increased violence. What does that actually mean? And then after that we will spend several articles looking at cultural views of domestic discipline in America before the modern age. But that pastor I am speaking about, if she is worth her salt, will speak better words than me. _50 SHADES OF GREY AND PATRIARCHY: WHAT EXACTLY DID WE EXPECT?_. Such as, not seeing them alone, only meeting in public, and if you need overnight accommodations to see them, NEVER stay at their place or let them stay at yours. How does a Christian man go about introducing Domestic Discipline into his marriage and what techniques actually work? Unless I agree with you 100%, Im outside of the will of God? Why not? No one is tricked or trapped into that, even if you seem to have the concerning desire to save people from themselves because it just cant be right. The professionals are the ones to turn to. Interestingly, while a lot of men fancy themselves Knights in Shining armor, Ive never experience one defending or protecting me. And being insulting doesnt either. My father told me the pain I caused my mother when she gave birth to me pleased him. I love how men take 2 verses in Genesis and squelch women for all of eternity. Did you even read the post? My father and two of my grandfathers had no business leading, and had no business having authority. Doesnt look like 50 Shades of Grey is going to be well-received around here! There is a beautiful surrender that comes with allowing myself to be vulnerable and submissive. This makes it all more more important for the victim and her supporters to be persistent in calling for help, and politely pressing for the workers and the justice system to do what they can do. I had numerous discussions with people that wanted to begin or improve their Christian Domestic Discipline relationship. Michael is worried sick over his wife's whereabouts, and he's determined to put a stop to her irresponsible behavior. Period. Ahhh, proof-texting. The article I linked to at 4:14 PM distinguishes between unforgiveness and grieving. Michael is worried sick over his wife's whereabouts, and he's determined to put a stop to her irresponsible behavior. My mother ruled the house and henpecked my father. Wolf goes on to demandnot suggest, but demandthat you forgive. I dont believe Bill Gothard is a Christian, I think he is a sadistic man that worships himself and wants other people to worship him. It feels right and the way it should be.It has made a difference in our lives in a big way. Meredith, learningdd.com, 3. 4 and her father hears about her vow or pledge but says nothing to her, then all her vows and every pledge by which she obligated herself will stand. I think he made his point. You are telling 100pinkapples that she needs to take a Christian response to her abusers and to her own pain, and to see a pastor for counselling. The truth is that I rarely disagree with household or DD decisions that he makes. Then all the feminists have jumped around and yelled at me that I am mis-interpreting them. We dont advocate for nouthetic counseling here. Did you hear of anyone else going through the same thing? To correct bad behavior, and when done biblically, it isnt wrong to spank a wife. Good intentions yield more good intentions. It mush be nice to be self righteous dont you think. Those who advocate domestic discipline do so on the basis of several passages taken out of context and wildly interpreted. Men ruling over women was a result of the fall, of sin entering humanity it was never Gods intent. 1Pet 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. You are more than a conqueror through Jesus who loves you. The best part of domestic discipline is what has happened emotionally between this long-time married couple. Rock, if you want to read about domestic violence, read about Jamin Wright, a good-ole boy from Doug Wilsons church in Moscow ID. Rather he actually comes abusing by accusing. If men like you were running Christianity its reputation would be much better, and I am sure women and little girls would be suffer and much happier. [redacted] never told anyone at that time, and there is no photographic evidence of the bruises or any witnesses. I would find that approach must less objectionable. Abusing men need to be taken to task (no, I dont know how, and in some cases they just never will be) but the fact of their existence does not mean God was wrong to say that the man is the head of the wife and that he shall rule over thee. Here is a tasty quote AGAINST wife-spanking: Jim Alsdurf, a forensic psychologist who evaluates and treats sexual psychopaths and is the author of a book on abuse in Christian homes, says CDD isnt about religionits an outlet for emotionally disturbed men with intimacy deficits. I have neither the time (nor the talent) to write an entire book, so I'll recommend instead the following book. If more husbands would do this, we would have LESS divorces and better marriages.
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